June 01, 2017
Insomnia and Other Stuff Posted at 11:55 AM
It's been another long while since I've posted. But here I am, on my new laptop. It's an HP Spectre 360xsomething. What I really like about this in comparison to my old Macbook Pro is that it's light weight (2 lbs), I can fold the keyboard back and use it as just a tablet, and it comes with a pen. Also, I've always been a big PC/Windows type girl. I've always resented getting a Macbook in the first place and wouldn't contemplate getting the Macbook Air to suit my college and life needs anyhow. I got something against Apple (mentally) overall but can respect that they have great products but they're not for me.

My insomnia has been improving the last 2 days. I still wake up in the middle of the night and it takes a long time for me to fall asleep. I've been tired and losing weight so that's an issue, I feel like it's a result of my disorderly anxious mind. But I'm working on it.

This summer consists of me solving a shitton of Sudoku puzzles and studying Mandarin (how to write, read, pronounce) as I'm waiting for jobs I've applied to to get back to me and offer me a position because I'm in need of doing something productive. Sudoku and studying another language takes up not even a fraction of my day and I feel like a potato just laying here online not progressing , much anywhere. Ah, I've also been working out, but it's on and off.


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February 03, 2017
Smol World Posted at 11:07 AM
I feel so pathetic. I believe I would be able to make friends if I even put my foot down and try. This sucks but I did become friends with somebody and I got their number and all. It's refreshing. But can I say we're really friends unless we hang out a couple times and talk? 

 2nd semester started quite some time ago and here I am stressing about meeting people, getting a job, getting my permit, working out, family, friends, etc. Juggling all these things that will help me stay sane while I'm in school because school's important to me even though it pains me to do work at all.

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December 06, 2016
Questionnaire (from 12/14/13) Posted at 6:01 PM
I was rereading old questionnaires and thought I should answer them again to see how my answers changed drastically. Thank God I put labels on them so I can easily access all the questionnaires I answered all at once!

Update: I did up to #15 in the morning and now I'm back and it's almost 6PM. Time to continue!
1. Post a picture of you? New one from Instagram that I'm so over haha.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? I'm 18 now so it's a definite of course!
3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Both still. I was honestly someone who saw girls as enemies but I hang out with a lot of them so what is wrong with me?
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Already do it all the time. 
5. Can you commit to one person? Yes.
6. How do you look right now?  I look like I just got out of bed because that's what just happened!
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?  This shirt with the green heart in the middle and tight black shorts.
8. How often do you listen to music? A lot, like damn.
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?  Jeans, I don't wear a lot of sweats anymore. 
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2017? It already has a great deal. Everything has changed. What more can change honestly.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?  I've become more of a social person but I really have a hard time pushing more conversation but I'm working on that.
12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well, it was nice knowing ya. Goodbye. I mean, I still keep some of them around because we managed to be great friends. 
13. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Now I'm good at it.
14. Can you drive a stick shift? Nope, still a goal of mine. Haha.
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? If we're close then yeah. If we're not then fuck you, who cares. 
16. Are you going out of town soon? Nope. 
17. When was the last time you cried?Last week.
18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Green.
20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?  Go to my Psychology classes!
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Procrastination.
22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Let's not go there ;)
23. Are you nice to everyone? I try to be.
24. What are you sitting on right now? I'm laying on my bed on my belly.
25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yeah, of course.
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? All the time!!!
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Richard.
28. Do you get a lot of colds? Nope.
29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? I don't remember.
30. Does anyone hate you? Probably.
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Yeah.
32. Do you like watching scary movies? Yep.
33. Are you a jealous person? Somewhat.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? My Junior Year in high school.
35. Did you have a dream last night? I don't remember what it was about.
36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? I don't feel like I've told anyone 100% of things. 95% though.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Nope!!! Too early!!!
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Mhm.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Maybe.
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? It was alright. I was productive.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? It's complicated.
42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? A big hell no. 
43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? A lot of making out probably.
44. What’s the best part about school?All this free time between classes and between days.
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? Use to, in high school. :)
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? I try not to because it makes me sad and nostalgic in a really depressing way.
48. Were you single over the last summer?Mhm.
49. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Eating.
50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Alice is hella attractive. Someone date her already!

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October 15, 2016
Major Change Posted at 9:47 PM
It has been a long while since my last blog post. I want to continue updating this for the sake of... I don't know.

As you know, I have been in college for over a month now and the work and stress is catching up to me but I have been managing just fine. Also, I've got myself a tablet ( Samsung Galaxy Tab S2 8.0). It has been the most satisfying purchase I've made in a while and it really has taken the place of using my laptop. It has been a real big help with school work as well.

I need to be more social and I need to talk to my dad more. But honestly, I can be such a coward and that's why I never get the things I want that are extremelying important.

Hopefully that will change. It has to!

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July 17, 2016
Why So Serious? Posted at 8:51 PM
I remember the first time typing up a blog and reading the posts of my friends'. It felt so fresh, so personal, so intimate. That was about 4 years ago, when I was in Freshmen year, and here I am now, the summer before college starts. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm looking forward to new experiences and new friends and new everything. This is not to say I'm disregarding the old. I acknowledge every aspect of my life whether it be great or not so great. I'm glad I'm here and at the same time, not so glad because that's what nostalgia does. It makes the past seem like a magical time in your life and you long for it, but it will never come to you.


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May 05, 2016
Life Choices Posted at 10:18 AM
To make things very clear, I just want to live a life where I can give back to the community but also enjoy what I do for the rest of my life. Putting a lot of thought into that, I have already decided I want to write for the rest of my life but I also want to have leisure time and contribute to society through volunteer work, non-profits, so and so.

I've been looking to John Green for advice. I watched him talk about college, adulthood, and decisions through your college career. And yes, they are videos I've watched years ago from time to time, but I stumble onto it again. And no, I won't be doing one thing with my life.

People say life is short. On the grand scheme of things, that is true. In comparison to the length of the universe's existence, we are merely a split second of breath. This only disregards our own perception of time and how truly long it is.

I'm trying to incorporate more people into my life. Sure, I'll have many friends, but a few close friends. I want to be able to socialize with people of similar interests and motivated and determined individuals.

Also, I'm still trying to change myself into a better person. For weeks, I've been noting down my flaws and fears : (complaining too much, negative thinking patterns, fear of public speaking, etc, etc) and ways I can get myself out of my bubble everyday. And holy shit, it worked. Just needed to put my mind to in and keep constant discipline. So far, I've improved on my public speaking skills, I'm a more content and happy individual because I push away my negative cycle of thoughts, and life has improved greatly after I stopped complaining as much as I usually did. My motto now is to live in the moment, don't complain unless you are actively pursuing a solution so you can shut up afterwards, and to be open to embarrassing yourself so you can improve. Never forget to be compassionate and considerate to others and take care of yourself.

****such importance****

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February 13, 2016
An Open Letter Posted at 9:32 AM
I legit haven't written on this for 2 months, close to 3. But hey, here I am.

I haven't been on here for the past couple months because my anxiety has been worst than usual. Not just 1-2 week periods, but almost 3 months now. That's why I was gone. And you'd think the small things I do to get myself back in the right mentality will help me— it doesn't. Here and there, I'm alright, I'm happy, I'm content, I feel like myself. And the next thing you know, overwhelming fear, anxiety, over thinking, unable to get ahold of my thoughts. I've talked about it to my counselor. She's not that much of help but I guess I'll just need to help myself.

I take steps to get better. Always, forever will… what am I writing?
I am quite obsessed with Nirvana as of now. I love Kurt Cobain because he's immortal, he's timeless. I feel as if all walks of life will have heard of him. I'm jealous that my older family members were alive while he was around until he committed suicide at the age of 27 in 1994. I'll pay tribute to him since his birthday is coming up on February 20th. I'll light candles, write something and read it to myself like the obsessed junkie, strange human being I am. But being obsessed with bands and the people in them…keeps my mind off my own troubling issues in life.

I can't promise that this'll get me where I want to go but I hope I get better. Peace. xoxo, me.

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November 22, 2015
November's Blessings Posted at 3:06 PM
November has had its ups and downs but it truly has been one of the best months by far. So much amazing and awesome things happened. But let's talk about the past 48 hours.

I went to a Slam Performance on Saturday night but prior to that hung out with Richard and then Taina tagged along later that day. I was glad that I stayed until late at night because I like doing things outside of the house at night. It becomes a beautiful memory.

Photos from the venue.



 When I came home that night, I saw that my Amazon order came in and God, I love them so much <3.

Then came the day of the marathon. After I finished the half and finally went home, I stuck this on my wall.

Selfie credits to Richard, I really liked that pic and he posted on Instagram. ^^food
 Really proud of myself. :)


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October 21, 2015
Picture Diary Posted at 7:43 PM
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September 12, 2015
8:42 AM
During a run.
October 6, 2015
10:14 PM
During gym when I sat out because I had my wisdom teeth yanked out of my mouth 4 days prior.

October 8, 2915
7:09PM
There were a bunch of kittens… a few weeks out… outside that night.

October 11, 2015
2:17 PM
Outfest with Alice. When people saw this pic on my phone, they complimented on how pretty Alice looked. 
October 11, 2015
5:02 PM
Frozen yogurt (first time) before we left.
Bought on 10/11/15 before I went out.

Bought on 10/11/15 before I went out.
10/14/15
2:37 PM
I think Liz took this picture on Esthela's phone and sent it to me via Snapchat so I screens hotted it because my hair curling was on point that day!
10/16/15
7:57 AM
During Assembly??? I don't know when this really was but I saved it in the morning..
Follow up of previous pic.

10/17/15
2:19 PM
After running practice, during the High School Fair at the Pa Convention Center.












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September 27, 2015
Anime Rank Update #12 (close to 100) Posted at 10:19 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 1-5
1.) Steins;Gate
2.) FullMetalAlchemist: Brotherhood
3.) Clannad
4.) Durarara
5.) Tokyo Ghoul

Top 6-15
6.) Psycho-Pass
7.) Shingeki no Kyojin
8.) Black Butler
9.) Death Parade
10.) Shokugeki no Souma
11.) Nagi No Asukara
11.) Noragami
13.) Madoka Magica
14.) K-Project
15.) Charlotte

Top 16-25
16.) Kyoukai no Kanata
17.) Guilty Crown
18.) Ao No Exorcist
19.) Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso
20.) Magi
21.) Atsuki no Yona
22.) Tasogare Otome x Amnesia
23.) Kaichou wa Maid Sama
24.) Kuroko No Basuke
25.) Naruto

Everything Else!
26.) Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun
27.) Oreimo
28.) Toradora
29.) The World Only God Knows
30.) Free!
31.) Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
32.) Kuroko Connect
33.) Inu x Boku
34.) Angel Beats
35.) Ao Haru Ride
36.) Parasyte
37.) Bakemonogatari
38.) Fairy Tail
39.) Chuu2
40.) Pandora Hearts
41.) Gosick
42.)Amagi Brilliant Park
43.) Love Stage
44.) Golden Time
45.) K-On!
46.) Zetsuen no Tempest
47.) Sword Art Online
48.) Katekyo Hitman Reborn
49.) Death Note
50.) No. 6
51.) Mirai Nikki
52.) Ouran Host Club
53.) Nisekoi
54.) Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai
55.) Isshukan Friends
56.) Hatuaka Maou- Sam
57.) Tamako Market
58.) Sakurasou no Pet Na Kanojo
59.) Kamisama Hajimemashita
60.) B Gata H Kai
61.) Yamada Kun and the Seven Witches
62.) Hyouka
63.) Vampire Knight
64.) High School of the Dead
65.) Owari no Seraph
66.) Kimi Ni Todoke
67.) Ookami Shoujo to KuroOuji
68.) Hentai Ouji To Warawanai Neko
69.) Sukitte Li Na Yo
70.) Special A
71.) Tonari no Kaibutsu
72.) Sankarea
73.) Ore Monogatari
74.) Makai Ouji
75.) Danishi Koukousei no Nichijou
76.) No Game, No Life
77.) Dangan Ronpa
78.) Junjou Romantica
79.)Uta no Prince Sama
80.) Amnesia
81.) Shakugan no Shana
82.) Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko
83.) Ano Hana
84.) Hikuushi e no Koiuto
85.) Brothers Conflict
86.) Elfen Lied
87.) Another
88.) Kiss Sakura
89.) Corpse Party
90.) Ikoku Irokoi Romantan
91.) Hourou Musuko
92.) Diabolik Lovers
93.) Ookami-san to Shichinin
94.) Nourin
95.) Glasslip
96.) Pupa

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Welcome~
The Discreet Pink Rose, aka, Vabeani
Neuroscience Major, Psychology Minor
Vietnamese-Chinese, Pisces
Always changing up this blog for various seasons, occasions, and reasons. It will be spontaneous. I am, of course, the random type.
I love cats.
Lana Del Rey, MCR, The Neighborhood, The Weeknd, Blink182, Weezer, Ariana Grande, Camila Cabello (a wide range of artists)
March 4th
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