April 03, 2015
Since April 2nd
Posted at 6:01 PM
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Life Update:
No longer a single pringle.
Labels: Life
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Life Update: No longer a single pringle. March 18, 2015
nah
Posted at 9:32 PM
I can't believe March is almost over. Honestly, I've been feeling unwell for quite a while. Not physically. More like mentally and it's affecting me physically of course. The weeks where I've had sporadic nights of insomnia were the absolute worst, I detest short bursts of head aches, and I'm just tired of people overall.Highlights? I loved the Kairos retreat I went on. It was honestly an escape from school and home. I was surrounded by people I enjoyed being around (for the most part) for 3 days and 2 nights. Those two nights were restless since I stayed up to talk to my roommates and we ended up dozing off sleeping anyway. I slept in a bed with my friend both nights haha. I could've slept in my own bed but I don't know, just took advantage of the opportunity. Labels: Life February 28, 2015
"Verbal Chains"
Posted at 9:04 PM
[probably not going to be published on Wattpad; this is about my grandmother or it's words toward my grandmother that I'd want to say. Note the sarcasm in some parts.]I faced the fear that you wouldn't love me anymore That the flaws you despised is what I'd become one day. I apologize for not meeting your set expectations, I didn't realize I was created for you. What will I be once you're gone? What criteria would I then follow if you weren't here to scrutinize? I've taken my chances and you degrade my experience. I am nothing more than the raw material you're eager to refine. I am not the mirror your words will define. You aren't me nor are you one to boast for superiority I am an ugly, raging beast that refuses to be reigned by your smart mouth. Only if you understood that my love for you was only out of respect for your rights as a human being I never saw you as an idol worth becoming. Afternote: This was a bit mediocre. Don't consider this my best work. Labels: Poetry
SLAM
Posted at 6:51 PM
I went to my first Slam yesterday at the Freedom Theater (intersection of Master and Broad). Honestly, I felt uncomfortable because I was surrounded by people I didn't know. Social Anxiety? But I was with Richard and Genesis and I was really flustered. God. We entered the auditorium when it came close to 4:30 and others on our Slam Team were going to arrive late. Anyhow, I sat in between Richard and Genesis and it took time before the performances were going to start. There were judges on upper floor sections with seating (what do you call that part?). The host was really animated and really created an exciting atmosphere in the auditorium. There were individual teams from high schools and such (I was especially thrilled about the Masterman, Central, and Palumbo teams idk why).
Can't explain how exciting it was to hear people perform there poems. When something deep is stated, there are snaps from the audience and if you stutter or pause because you forgot your lines, people in the audience snaps and encourages you saying you can do it. I love the supportiveness. I wouldn't mind performing in front of people (if that happens anytime soon).
I loved the poem about God that started the first round off (yes, there are 3 rounds) and I also loved the group piece performed by 3 girls from Masterman. Four girls from SLA were amazing as well! Richard told me they won a competition and made it into the finals or something.
I've been watching a lot of SLAM performances from other states on Youtube. I'm really glad I'm becoming more invested into poetry. I've written for the fun of it but I never thought there'd be spoken competition where there were recitals. I was so oblivious to it. Now, after seeing how nice the people were, the confidence some poets had on stage, etc, I've become motivated and would like to perform in front of people.
There's one next Friday again. :)))
It lasts for about 2 hours and they are amazing 2 hours. I'm glad Richard wanted me to go. :)))))))))
Slow clap for not so amazing poems that were bland and had no depth (sorry to the writer). I wish I knew how to snap so I can freaking snap at the good parts of poems.
Labels: Competition, Event, Poetry February 27, 2015
hurting
Posted at 11:24 AM
Just so you know, I could honestly care less about myself. I love myself and all that but my aims for using my life is for the sake of those I care about. And in order to carry that out, I need to take care of myself and keep myself stable and healthy, etc. I have my own interests, my own person, and goals but my gains are to be there for people. I'm not here for myself 100% of the time. I'm here because of the people who has carried me into the right direction and made sure I was fine and isn't falling apart. I don't consider a lot of people, I only keep a handful of people to look forward to seeing everyday or speak to and that's the only incentive I need to succeed in school, college, etc. I get angry when my family members tell me not to care about anything else but my education and don't get into drama. But I don't want to go to school to support just myself and it was not always the plan. I feel like there's people to live for. It sucks for Richard. I trusted Katelyn to not keep the on and off thing going and continue hurting him. I can't believe she used depression to blame for her treating him like crap. I don't understand... why? If she can blame depression, then she was aware. Why can't she own up to hurting him? It pisses me off. Katelyn isn't a friend of mine but we are acquainted. I trusted her to take care with being his friend but she disappointed me and I can't blame her either but I don't like it. Due to stressors of my friends at school, insomnia is eating away at my sanity again. Like, damn, stop brain. I thought I was doing so well with emptying my head every night and falling asleep easily. It was so damn easy. But now I'm falling back into the habit where my mind won't shut down and mute itself. Simple for others, harder on me. I feel like falling apart and my organs are just shriveling up. I hope to get in sleep tonight. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Haven't I written a poem about this? :(((( I'm so... ugh.. :(( I envy my friends who are able to focus on school. Who don't have to go to counseling once a month. Who don't have to bother with petty thoughts because they are able to get over it after awhile. I wish my brain worked more properly. Labels: Life, Other, Psychological February 17, 2015
snow
Posted at 8:34 AM
"I'm your trump card between warring states,
I'm the key to a victorious fate.
Treasure my soul and may your life be complete
I'll be the one to ensure your enemies' defeat."
~random poem by me ^.^
 February 15, 2015
starting a novel
Posted at 10:41 PM
I took an hour to develop the plot, the characters, needed parts of a story.
Though I'm not going to convey it in this post, I feel like this was really well thought through and I'm hoping to work on it more over the month. Not going to officially write it because there's a ton of research I'll need to put in to get everything developed properly. Wattpad link has been added to the links at the top of this blog. I've been typing on Wattpad (poems mainly) and I'm not discovered yet. Hopefully I'll gain readers. My book will be the main attraction though.
Here's an idea I'd like to introduce for the title though:
#1 - Beyond the Gray Area
Labels: Announcement, Planning, Writing February 14, 2015
"Advertising Myself on a Dating Site"
Posted at 11:20 AM
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You should buckle up, I'll take you on a ride You had stumbled onto my bus stop Anticipating a surprise.  But please get comfortableAnd allow me to show you What you're in for. I like to take things slowly, That's how I assume my pace is Because I'm loving you at 99 mph. I got a ticket for speeding But that's okay There's no rules or boundaries when I'm on the road. You may have a destination in mind But I skipped them over  Only one can be behind the steering wheel.Let's take things easy but not when The traffic light is yellow I was made a rebel, no system confines me. Once you hit me You can't quit me I'm your daily dose of ecstasy. I'm running out of gas But I'm still running fine. Nothing can stop us once we take off from the curb I destroyed the brakes And I'm improving the gas pedal. Labels: Poetry February 05, 2015
intrinsic evils
Posted at 6:41 PM
I joined Slam Poetry club today. After a couple friends have been pestering me here and again, I gave in today, when I went into the club room seeing if Esthela was there or not and Richard told me to stay and Mr. Clark, the initiator, told me to stay, and then the rest of the club seemed to be welcoming me.I wanted to be a rogue poet/writer. I didn't want to affiliate myself with them. But I'm being closed minded and it's not so bad. The teacher is pretty cool and chill with everyone because he cusses and all. I have started writing poetry in a designated notebook that I customized myself and so far, my ideas are practically all over the place. But things are coming up. I'm joining the Philly Style Run as well and probably Cross Country. Then there's Poetry. Ah, these clubs. I'm also in the National Honors Society. I need to get myself more involved to be honest! Labels: Announcement, Notebook, Other, Poetry, School January 26, 2015
tears of joy
Posted at 1:56 PM
Yeah.. no..So I knew for a while about the Naruto Ship. ending and I really want to continue the anime (but nah, too long). So my goal is to read the manga instead since I've been doing that for several animes. Reading over watching, that's the term. Unfortunately… 700 chapters..  Labels: Other |
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The Discreet Pink Rose, aka, Vabeani Neuroscience Major, Psychology Minor Vietnamese-Chinese, Pisces Always changing up this blog for various seasons, occasions, and reasons. It will be spontaneous. I am, of course, the random type. I love cats. Lana Del Rey, MCR, The Neighborhood, The Weeknd, Blink182, Weezer, Ariana Grande, Camila Cabello (a wide range of artists) March 4th Labels/Search
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