February 01, 2014
>___>
Posted at 7:21 PM
Tired. Rarely eaten all day. For breakfast, I had a breakfast bar, lunch : small piece of bread with a little bit of ham and a cookie, dinner (well not really) strawberries and whip cream that my mom brought up. + 2 1/2 bottles of waterUgh wtf.
This week is a living nightmare.
Some people say that you're your own worst enemy.
The worst part about this is that I'm not even hungry. Just tired. Could barely walk. :(
Though I may regret writing this post, I still need it out there. No one can read you easily and I want someone to read me easily right now. To give me a hug. Reassurance.
In the end, I really need to talk to my dad because all of this is linked to him (not in a bad way).
My counselor kept asking me ,"What do you think you should do?" Basically, she wanted me to find my own answer as how to cope with these repetitive thoughts and my friend talked it through with me. And the thing about talking to my dad is that it gets really emotional and sometimes, crying just literally takes away from your breathing. Or it's just me. Sometimes I can't breathe well when I cry so damn hard. >________>
The other thing is, I've lost interest in reading, writing, a lot of things. I hope my school grades don't go down. I've got 100 average in 4 classes and don't know how I got there. But I'm slowly pulling away from school but that would hurt my parents and EVERYTHING IS CONTRADICTING <_______<
I really really hope I get out of this omggggggggggg
This feeling is the worst
I feel like I'm already dead. D=
*trying to distract myself with Bubzbeauty/+vlogs, talking to Alice, Tumblr, Tetris, Osu. I was just completely out of it. If this goes on for the next few weeks, I will need major help but then I might have to pay money and my dad… no… just… I'll just do it myself. *
Labels: Life, Psychological
